My dad was a Pedophile protected by the church.
I was his main victim for about 10 years. It went on this long because he was the one being protected.
During my childhood in Idaho, Arizona, California and Washington, several bishops had been involved, same story every time he got caught. He and I would have to meet with the bishops, like that was therapy for “curing” his sicknesses.
Every time he would be disfellowshipped for a few months, and I would be required to meet with the bishop, being “counseled” to forgive him for the sake of our family being an eternal family 🤢.
My mom was always told to forgive him, and she always did. They stayed married for 53 years.
My older brother also started abusing me when I was about 10 years old, this didn’t happen for long because when he got caught, and the bishop was involved and he got punished by my parents, he didn’t do it anymore.
The last bishop I went to when I was 17, because I was seeing signs of the cycle starting again, scolded me, and told me I was being a bad daughter. I wasn’t giving my dad a fair chance.
I ran away and got married at 18, in hindsight, I think I felt it was my only option as a woman in the church. This cycle of abuse was probably the most consistent thing in my childhood to be honest.
He often tried to abuse friends of mine when they were over. He had abused other family members before I was born, and continued with grandchildren. I took my kids and moved away, they were not allowed to stay at my parents house without me.
I tried often to be “forgiving” and build the relationship with my parents and family.
I don’t think I realized just how messed up this was until I was older, and how much responsibility I took on for his choices. I also didn’t realize that my shameful secret was so common in the church.
I left the church at 35, and will never regret that decision, best decision I ever made.
At 56 years old I finally feel like I am comfortable with myself, and the decisions I make.
I know that the health issues I suffer from and the mental challenges I have all stem from this abuse.